The Journey of Surrender
The other day I was having a conversation with a couple friends about trust and surrender.
We were sharing with each other recent challenges we were overcoming and the process of coming back to ourselves and trusting again, after feeling defeated and lost.
And we came to the conclusion that maybe the lows are just as important as the highs in life. Maybe we must lose ourselves sometimes in order to fall deeper into trust and surrender.
We can often be very hard on ourselves for getting very emotional, having moments of weakness, doubting ourselves and our path, catastrophizing and thinking negatively.
In the spiritual community, we are constantly fed the belief that if you have negative thoughts or believe you can’t do it, you’ll sabotage your manifestations. That the mere negative emotions will prevent you from creating positive things in your life.
And yes, to an extent, negativity can breed more negativity. If you are always expecting bad things to happen in your life, that’s all you will see. In psychology, we refer to that as confirmation bias.
However, what I don’t agree with is the belief that all negative emotions are bad. That we aren’t allowed to have these moments where we feel lost or doubt the process.
While reflecting on this, my friends and I came to the conclusion that whenever we have had a really dark and difficult period, what was on the other side of that was always something worth it.
It was the darkness that uncovered something that needed to be healed. It was the darkness that brought us closer to ourselves. And following the darkness, usually was some sort of major shift or transformation in ourselves and our life.
It is often said that we cannot have light in the world without darkness. We cannot have good without the bad. As hard as it is sometimes and no matter how difficult these “dark night of the soul” moments can be, what’s on the other side is why it exists in the first place.
I know I’m stronger because of the painful moments I’ve experienced. I come back stronger each time. More determined. More clear on what I’m here to do.
So next time you are feeling down on yourself for having lost yourself again. Or feeling bad for just feeling bad… remember that this is just a part of your becoming and you will always find the light.
Surrendering to the flow of life and trusting that everything will work out in divine timing can be hard sometimes, and I believe that maybe after each dark period in our lives, we must learn to trust a little more. Trusting doesn’t come naturally; it’s a practice. It’s something we have to work on.
One of the things I like to live by is the Serenity Prayer, my Dad’s favourite prayer that he has shared with me many times in my life:
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
As someone who loves control, it reminds me that everything in life cannot be controlled.
It reminds me to focus on what I can do: put myself out there, create, meet people, try my best and live my life to the fullest. And everything else—well, that’s in God’s hands.
With that, I trust that I’m on the right path and that what is unfolding is what is meant to be. The good and the bad. Everything is an important component of my journey on this planet: a lesson, an experience to shape who I am supposed to be.
No matter how difficult things get, this is how I always find my way back to myself.
Thank you for taking the time to read this reflection. I’m sending you so much love, wherever you are on your journey. 💜
With love, Deana
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